#36 - W.W.

You, somehow, were my biggest loss this year. You, with your Army stories, guitar playing, and huge plans. You, with your engineering classes, tales about living under a bridge, your stubbornness. You, with your big eyes, your crooked grin, and your tiny, guarded heart.

#35 - R.H.

Once, you thought you had an STD and we took you, sobbing, to the clinic. You were fine. You whispered confidences about things I didn't want to know about. Then you got married and shut us all out. I kind of miss your confounding confessions.

#34 - M. H.

I've known you for years, but I wonder if I really KNOW you. You're polite, silly, and we bitch with the best of them. Still, I feel like there's a wall you put up between you and the outside world. What's going on in there?

#33 - M.Z.

Remember when we were 15 - the drugs, the sex, the life you led? Today, you're all grown up - a good job, a house, a serious love of music, that damn cat. I like you so much better now, and I'm so proud of you.

#32- B.H.

An unwilling, confirmed bachelor, you live out in the woods and build beautiful things... just a randomly hot guy, buying and selling cars on craigslist and getting high. We'd never fit into your life and I think, deep down, you know that.

#31 - E.J.

A year younger than me, fun, personable. You still live at home and work a menial job. I wonder where the lack of drive comes from... don't you want anything more out of life? What makes you satisfied with mediocrity?

#30 - M.W.

Always the naughty one, forbidden fruit, on account of your sarcastic statements, chocolate skin, and the sticky-sweet shotguns. Years later, you found me just when I needed you most and gave me the strength to break free. Thank you for my life.

#29-T.R.

You were an engineering student who I met at a Tori Amos concert. We dated for months, and I taught you everything I knew about sex. You taught me everything about MST3000. I'm probably using my acquired knowledge much more than you're using yours, nutjob.

#28 - IDK

Stubborn. Tough. Intelligent. Distant to most people. Conceited. A true man in every sense of the word. You've got a future that doesn't include me, but we tried, didn't we? Please remember how wonderful you are, no matter what they make you do.

#27 - W.S.

It literally took years - far into my marriage - but I finally stopped crying myself to sleep every night over you. I've forgotten how wonderful you were, and now only feel a bland tug when I imagine you. You weren't worth the pain.

#26 - P.P.

A 28-year old man who corrupted a 16-year old girl. You act righteous now - the wife, the kids, the job teaching at a college - but I know that twisted, perverted man is in there still. Do the world a favor and keep him locked up.

#25 - T.G.

Really, in the end, there's just you and me. So intimately intertwined, our breaths catch the other's rhythm. There's laughter, and sex, and sweet murmured words and that unbearable distance that neither of us are able to shorten.

#24- T.M.

An athletic, stylish 17-year-old, you are expected to become a spectacular basketball player and make Dad a ton of money. You sit and confess to me your plans to become a famous designer and your eyes shine so much it hurts my heart.

#23 - K.P.

So, some days, I love being with you - we laugh and have a great time. And other days, you're evil and I can't stand you. You're an important part of my life, though, so I'm stuck with you. Bitch.

#22 - S.C.

9:45 Saturday night. I'm depressed about stupid stuff. I get a text... "Hey - I'm about to give my fiancee a rim job!". I giggle. My kinky sex story fix and my bad mood, both taken care of at once. You guys are freaks, though.

#21 - K.E.

Gorgeous, with boingy, blonde curls and a cute little face. You're sweet and silly and we make cynical jokes, snarkily. My ex-husband professed that you had the cutest ass he had ever seen. I have to admit, it IS pretty nice.

#20 - B.A.

I met you when you were a chubby, friendly girl in my creative writing class. I can remember drinking tequila in your dorm room. Later, you got hooked on cocaine and became a skinny, jittery girl. Did you chase away your demons?

#19 - M.T.

You're all grown up, now... married, teaching English, slightly cynical. Sometimes I sit and think about the boy who played me Breakfast at Tiffany's on the guitar and flirted with me, shyly. But mostly I'm just happy because your life is intact and safe.

#18 - S.S.

I love that you treat me so sweetly but give me shit every single day. I love that you're a super serious golfer and a mason. I love that you have a side that needs me to listen. I love that you're you.

#17 - D.D.

You were the girl who was better than all of us, but you let me be your friend. We went to naughty 8th grade parties and drank, secretly... well, until you became pregnant from that cool older guy. Then we didn't hang out so much.

#16 - A. B.

I introduced you to Dave, who you in turn married, had children with, and cheated on. You gave me my first rhino at my high school graduation party and brought me Bruce, who was fun for a while. I think it was a good trade.

#15 - S.J.

You made us buy grape jelly, hung out with us for like a week, and then took off. I was so angry then, but now I can see that you were just confused. And I got D out of the deal, so we're cool.

#14 - L.T.

Dude, you are crotchety. You know that, right? You made me go down the huge ass Metro in D.C. and I almost died. Your sarcasm, blatant honesty and cynicism often make you one of the most important influences in my life. Bouncy bouncy!

#13 - A.Z.

You used to be a jiu-jitsu fighter, but now you do studies on mindful eating and impart wisdom about "broads" to me. Thank you for your writing inspiration. I'll send you a pie, but you have to eat the whole thing without thinking.

#12 - G.S.

I can't possibly hear anyone say 'right on' without laughing hysterically. The same goes with the phrase 'explosive diarrhea'. You're like this cool-music-knowing, hair-removing,ticklebox import from Texas and I love you lots. Sorry.about.falling.asleep. on.the.way.back.from.Garbage.

# 11 - J.M.

You let me see the real you all day long, then texted me all night while you were defending the peace. We still talk sometimes and you're so cold, and I truly prefer it to your misguided energy. (That's a lie I tell myself).

#10 - B.H.

You: 6'7, big brown eyes, damaged goods. Me: 5'4, glasses, mesmerized. A three-month courtship. Hours talking, laughing. I got too close and you ran away. The sad thing is, I know how badly you need me and how much you'll never let yourself ask.

#9 - M. R.

I never met anyone who exemplified the word "firey" as much as you did. Puerto Rican, short, chubby, with an attitude that was sharp and biting. We laughed so hard together that our stomachs hurt. Your sluttiness both fascinated me and made me jealous.

# 8 - T.J.

I see you - stringy red hair, sallow skin - and I remember the spunky girl I taught. You called me, sobbing, asking for help with your addiction to heroin. We've tried everything, but you can't break away, and I can't make you.

# 6 - J.L.

The night I met you, you'd just blown up a firecracker in your hand. You were too scared to tell your parents, so we wrapped it in towels. Two years later, you enlisted. When the shrapnel hit, I couldn't wrap you up. I'm so sorry.

#5 - M. H.

Half Jewish and half Christian, you got presents for Hanukkah AND Christmas. You had a gorgeous girlfriend who was older than you (naughty!) and you wanted to study herpetology in college. I wanted you to be mine so badly, it literally hurt.

#4- M.P.

Sometimes, I am jealous. You've landed a killer job, making more this year than I will in 30 years, combined. But then I picture that little boy, crying at the kitchen table over a teacher's declaration that he was stupid. And then I'm just proud.


or ...

You were worried, angry, in go-to mode that night. You shuffled the kid and I into your van, carrying our needed possessions. You took us all to eat Mexican food and didn't mention a word of what had happened. Thank you - I needed to breathe.

#3 - J.A.

I was so fascinated by your life. I listened to stories about New Orleans, reasons why you made Columbus your home, successes with your restaurants. I was fascinated, later, by your strange sexual perversions - stuff I'd never heard of. Not for me, big guy... thanks.

#2 - J.L.

You spoke in Spanish to your mom, and I would smile, picking up maybe 30% of what you two said. You taught me about Neil Gaiman, Tori Amos, Ani Difranco... you honestly shaped who I am today, culturally. I don't know where you are now.