#143 - S.W.

Beady little eyes, a cocky swagger, you're like that kid that everyone hated in junior high. Now you're the boss, and you have it out for me. I'm reprimanded for the slightest deviation from the rules. Too bad we have an awesome union, huh?

#142 - J.R.

Everyone hated you - students. fellow teachers, administration - but I somehow landed myself on your good side from day one. This meant those kind of library perks that only an English teacher could love. Now that you've retired, I barely set foot in there.

#141 - C.F.

You defy every stereotype I have ingrained into my brain. You're a mother, a grandmother, a breast cancer survivor, a librarian, a Great Dane owner, a motorcycle mama, and a devout Mormon. Oh, and you're super protective of me. I love you!

#140 - K.V.

You were the first friend I made in college, and through you, I met the two women I call my closest friends. Outside of that, I don't really have an opinion about you... you were nice. What else can I say?

#139 - E.L.

You're from a country with black volcanic sand. As I brokenly speak your language, you smile, pleased. Our friendship is based on our mutual lack of trust and our shared love of bitter sarcasm. You're not serious, but you're fun. PEZONES!

#138 - P.C.

I saw the Thriller video for the first time at your house, and I ran home, crying hysterically. We ate bologna and ketchup sandwiches and darted between houses - the closest thing to a sister I had. We grew apart, and I don't really know why.

#137 - S.S.

You often attempted to assert your dominance in my college apartment. I don't know if you saw me as competition or just hated my attitude, but you got him, so I hope you enjoy your husband, 14 years younger than you.

#136 - C.M.

The two of you showed up the day before my ill-fated marriage. You assembled the archway, entertained my relatives, and were in charge of the fish (and dead fish replacements) on top of the tables. Aside from the Cowboys fascination, you're pretty awesome.

#135 - M.S.

Our first conversation - "wait a minute! our GRANDMAS grew up together?!" - coincidence at a college of 17,000. I rode your karaoke coattails, helped you pick out Halloween costumes, and threw popcorn in your mouth from a distance. You're a happy memory from a happy time.

#134 - P.T.

The little white house divided into apartments, the little bedroom with the weird corners, the twin bed with the soft bedspread, the black lab barking outside of the bedroom door, and you… oh, you… you and that tongue ring… mmmm you.

#133 - I.F.

The coach of the debate team at a prestigious Toledo prep school, you spent large amounts of your time researching topics. In action, you were aflame, firing rebuttals at will. In person? Eh… you were kind of boring. Stick to the stage.

#132 - A.C.

You were dumb, but nobody cared. Canadian, handsome, and the star of the BGSU hockey team, you radiated confidence. In debate class, when our group brainstormed argumentative topics, your only contribution was “legalizing marijuana!” and “free pot!”, which would explain the lack of brain cells.

#131 - M.S.

I saw you at each of my checkups - you started out brusque and matter-of-fact, but soon took my cup of urine with a grin. When you showed up at the hospital immediately after CB was born, I was more touched than I ever told you.

#130 - M.G.

You inspired me to write my blog, which was awesome of you. You were a great, platonic friend, which was awesome of you. We turned on our webcams, and instead of your face, your penis filled the screen. That was NOT awesome of you.

#129 - R.G.

Get-rich-quick schemes. Big plans. You took everything, and yet she stays with you, loving you more than you will ever deserve. You both live in a trailer now, and I remember the pretty house she owned and I'm so sad you came into her life.

#128 - E.G.

One of my earliest memories is of you, putting soap on my head in the bathtub and shrieking, "you're an old woman!". My second mother, you were a part of our family as much as anyone. All those puns I make? That'd be from you.

#127 - C.R.

A grown-up version of the prom queen, you're on your third marriage and you drink constantly. You seem so nice, but I know you're fake, but I rarely have to see you so I'm fake right back to you. It keeps the peace on Christmas.

#126 - F.R.

One day, you made the comment that kids today don't walk fast enough, as though that were a pressing concern in our nation. You're jovial, confident, and successful, but drunk 24 hours a day, so I don't know if that's you or the beer.

#125 - T.W.

You pick the worst guys to date, and you act like it doesn't bother you, but it does. You have energy and attitude that most people shy away from, but it makes me adore you so much more. Please stop compromizing your future, though, ok?

#124 - C.V.

Oh, do you have an attitude, Missy!!! It doesn't bother me, though - it'll pass. You're more intelligent than you let on, and if you'd become more comfortable with wonderful YOU, you'd achieve more than you ever though possible. I'd love to see you try.

#123 - L.C.

You owe me a pack of gum, and I'm pretty bitter about this fact. You're musical, opinionated and slightly caustic, but you typically temper the attitude with a smile. You talk more than I can believe, but I appreciate the sarcasm, truly.

#121 - T.T.W.

You're not tough, you know, but I'll let you pretend so that we keep our mutual love happy. You make bitter comments about me (he tells me everything) and they irk me because they're accurate. I'd probably like you in an alternate situation.

#122 - S.A.

The biggest brown eyes I've ever seen, I would watch your dark, dark fingers trace the light skin on the underside of my arm. Laughing, you taught me dirty words in Hindi. Maa chod. Bhen chod. I can still cuss out any Indian from your hometown.

#120 - J.K.

You should have been in honors classes, but you took middle-level classes, answering quickly, pompously. I have a video of you belly-dancing. When she would request work from you as her teacher's aide, you'd roll your eyes and laugh. Original to the end - that's you. 

#119 - B.W.

Sadly, you were not in my senior class that year. I saw you, shoulders drooping, walk out of the class across the hall, and I felt so bad for you. After all, you couldn't be a douchebag in her class. Poor baby.

#118 - T.M.

Your past included a boyfriend who was 20 years older than you, a serious heroin addiction that you beat, a switch to night school, and getting fired for stealing money from McDonalds. Let's hope the future got better.

#117 - S.C.

When I arrived, you already had the room set up with color-coordinated bins and a lush bedspread. You were homecoming queen back home in Zanesville and you randomly had a southern accent. I can't believe I never slapped you as you smacked your gum for hours.

#116 - M.N.

We played Spades on your inner-city front porch at your graduation party, eating pastelijos and drinking warm soda. I was the only non-Hispanic there, but no one cared - they just brought me more spicy food and teased me about my preppy clothes and hair.

#115 - V.M.

We rocked that talent show - "I'm Your Baby Tonight", you on the drums, me on the trumpet. You were dirt-poor, and I wanted to make us even, but your church helped you more than I could. I hope you're doing okay.

#114 - S.R.

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but you were my first crush. We'd sit on the phone at night, and I would laugh until I hurt. I saw you once when I went back home, but you didn't see me - I made sure of it.

#113 - S.G.

I regret to say that I don't remember your name. You had a lovely townhouse in Toledo, and your floor was hard against my back. I recall closets everywhere, but I don't know if that is fact or symbol.

#112 - E.Y.

You let me borrow your car before I had a drivers' license. You flirted with everyone - guys, parents, teachers, my boyfriends, me. You oozed sexuality, but you slept across the room from me every night, so I know you weren't sleeping around... much.

#111 - G.S.

After dinner (where you ordered for me) and some time watching your pet ferret crawl into your shoes, we had sex on your bed during a raging thunderstorm. When you drove me home in the morning, D was horribly worried because I hadn’t called.

#110 - D.B.

You had tattoos and a little girl, you lived with your mom and worked a job you hated. You were sweet, you were fun, but I never felt that spark I needed. Someday you'll find someone nice and bland to bond with.

#109 - T.N.

Honestly, I find your teen-angst posts on Facebook a little annoying, but I still like you. The last year has been tough. You remind me of your mom (though you hate when I say that) and I'm somewhat impressed with your strength. Carry on.

#108 - M.G.

We started teaching the same year. You're a sweet guy, but stiff, formal, detached from students and staff alike. Sometimes you make a joke, and you laugh blandly, and I wonder how your gorgeous wife gets through the entire weekend with you.

#107 - F.F.

On a flight back from England, you pulled out your cell phone to call me. The call went through, but you were immediately attacked by stewardesses. The ensuing text? "Dude. I almost got machine-gunned." Who does that? I can't stop laughing.

#106 - J.S.

At first glance, a quiet, shy, mousy girl, something changed in you over the summer. Now you're a vibrant senior who shouts out "orgies!" as an answer in class. It makes me smile to see your confidence.

#105 - J.S.

A kindergarten teacher with two daughters and a husband, you are also on like 500 committees. Yet when you heard I was sick, you immediately stopped over, brandishing food for us and toys for my kid. I'm pretty sure that you're my hero.